As a couple, we were very lucky to tick off pretty much everything on our “bucket list” together and for the few that we missed, I’m still planning to do them. It won’t be the same of course, can never, ever be the same, but I can still see the sheer joy on Martin’s face when we saw epic new places, explored new hiking trails or even something as simple as a really good cup of coffee, and that’s what I shall keep in my head always as I attempt to do new things.

For those new to this blog, I lost my amazing husband Martin in December 2020, so for 2 years, 4 months and 16 days (868 days) I have been trying to find a way of existing in a world that is forever changed. But. Although Martin may not be here, he is. He is always with me and that feeling has never diminished and so I use that to get through each and every day. So here I am, trying to put together a different bucket list, one that has had to adapt to how life actually is now.

Solo travel isn’t easy for me, it’s not the actual travelling itself, it’s the times when I’ve have been out all day, keeping busy and then going back to the hotel or apartment and the quietness that greets me, those were the times when Martin would be calling me over to look at some other fabulous thing he’d found online that he thought we should try or we’d be booking trains for a quick day trip somewhere the next day. We’d eat at the dinner table, some music on the portable speaker, then flop on the sofa and watch an episode or two of something funny and then we’d start again in the morning.

So. To the tentative “Bucket List” that I’ve created. I have purposefully kept it realistic, it would be easy to fling up a long list of fancy places I’ve seen on social media, but as we all know by now, not everything we see online actually cuts the mustard once you are there yourself.

Rysy, Poland

I’ll begin with one that was on “our” to do list. To return to Zakopane and take on Rysy, the tallest peak in Poland. When we were there back in 2015, we hiked to Morskie Oko from Zakopane, so by the time we got there we were spent, especially after a stint of getting lost and ending up wading through a field of stinging nettles!! So we had agreed that we just had to come back on another trip to take on that climb. Heights were never a strong point for me, I’d start to shake and end up frozen on the spot, right up until our trip to Poland to do some mountain climbing, trying out via ferrata for the first time and absolutely loving it. I’m glad I pushed through my fear and have those wonderful memories of ascending some pretty scary biscuit peaks to stand beside Martin and marvel at the world in front of us.

Rome Marathon, Italy

I’m putting this here in the travel bucket list, even though I’ve been to Rome so many times before, it was one of our very favourite places to be. But. One of the things I do now, is run. Running has been a saving grace for me on many occasions when I just feel untethered (so, I do tend to run a lot…) it forces me to focus and gives me an opportunity to just “be”. So I decided that I would join up 2 of the things that comfort me these days, memories of Rome and running. Having already ran a half marathon in the Great North Run, it seems like a natural progression to take on the full marathon. The route for the Rome Marathon is an epic one and hopefully 2024 will see me come home with my medal.

A coffee stop at Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

We have had the wonderful pleasure of being in some of the most beautiful cafes in the world and it’s been a while since I’ve come across a place that has sung out to me. The café in the Kunsthistorisches Museum is very much calling to me. Not only can I satisfy my love of viewing beautiful works of art, but I can sit in the stunning setting of the domed hall and sip on a double espresso, or a glass of sparkly if I’m feeling fancy and it’s later in the afternoon. The strange thing is, when we were in Vienna in 2019, we actually stood outside the museum, I even took photos of the outside… really should have ventured inside! So that’s why it’s gone straight on the list.

Explore Lake District, UK

Another past time I’ve been focussing on is photography. I love landscape photography and the Lake District has a plethora of idyllic settings that would make for a wonderful few days of being creative and finding opportunities to take some photos that capture a moment in time. I’ve already been exploring the Northumberland Coast, with its gorgeous stretches of beaches and tranquil settings, but it’s been on my mind to venture inland, pack a flask of good coffee, a little picnic and my camera and get out into place like Ullswater, Keswick, Derwentwater and Catbells.

A hiking trip in the Dolomites, Italy

On a trip to Belluno in 2019 we were awestruck by the imposing views of the Dolomites and it was always a goal to explore some of those impressive peaks. Having seen a few places I know I would love to visit like: Seceda, Cinque Torri, Monte Cristallo, Cadini di Musurina and Tre Cime di Lavaredo, these are right up there as a must see, I just need to decide where best to base myself.

So there you have it. Now I just need to get my backside in gear and get out there and do it. Actually typing those words, I can actually hear Martin in my ear saying “Do it!” in his best attempt at a tough guy soprano accent! Apart from the marathon, everything else on this list is something that we would have done together, so when I’m out there doing them, I know that I do it for the both of us, that Martin’s passion for outdoor living and exploring continues in these expeditions.

I’ll leave with you with a little quote that I heard just a month ago, cheesy, I know, but it’s truly been such a great source of comfort to me and maybe it might to someone else…

“I wish that I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being”

Hafiz

For me, Martin is that light within me and I will treasure that feeling for all time.