Those of you have read some of my previous posts may be aware of my fear of open water… I still maintain I watched the film Jaws too early in my childhood. But I made a rational decision that there may not be too many great white sharks hell bent on vengeance in the North Sea and kept everything crossed that this rationale would not come back to bite me on the bum, literally!
Welcome to my decision-making process.
So on a fresh springtime Sunday morning last May, (yes I know, I forgot to post this last year!) I roused myself at 6am to make it in time to my very first kayaking class at Cullercoats and I might add it’s only because I was using public transport that I needed to get up at such a horrendously early time, normally I walk everywhere, but this was a shade too far. So, swim suit on and sense of adventure lagging behind me, I ventured forth.
Step one: survive the wetsuit
Before confronting my fear of the actual ocean, there was another challenge.
My friend and I met outside CBK Adventure where we were warmly greeted by a lovely member of staff who hands us our wetsuits, points out the changing huts and so begins the challenge… putting on the wetsuit. Honestly, it should be an Olympic sport in itself. At one point I thought I’d just need to buy the suit from them and forever wear it as a second skin as I didn’t think I’d ever get it off again! And, hello, why on earth is the crotch area at my knees? I did feel fabulously like an extra from an action film once I was all kitted out though.
We meet our instructor Simon, who looks very much like he stepped off a Viking ship, in fact, from what I can tell, many of the team look like they regularly battle for a place in Valhalla, I think it’s the beards. We had our safety briefing and carried the kayaks towards Cullercoats Bay.
Now at this point, I’m actually beginning to relax a bit, I’m feeling ok. A practice session sat in the kayaks on the sand passes easy enough and then, after a sharp intake of breath as the cold water hits your feet and ankles, we’re finally on the water. I’m paddling out a little deeper and then I make the mistake of looking down. Oops! The water is beautifully clear and some might like that kind of thing, but all I can see is big tufts of seaweed which could be hiding any matter of sea monsters (I am a drama queen, there is no denying it, I’m only about 20 metres from the shore!) but there’s something about seeing seaweed that just sets me on edge – see first paragraph… Spielberg you’ve got a lot to answer for!
I’m trying to concentrate on what the instructor is telling me, yet all I can think about is the kayak bouncing a little on the ripples from other paddleboarders and swimmers and hoping that I don’t fall in, or worse freeze up with fright and of course, is there anything in that seaweed??
But I calm myself, a few deep breaths and the realisation I just shouldn’t look down and suddenly I feel good to go. I’m paddling forward, I’m paddling backwards, I’m correcting, I’m over correcting, I’m correcting again and I can come to a sudden stop, tick, tick and indeed tick. I was suddenly having a really good time. Sometimes success is simply getting in.
I’m someone who likes being competent at things.
Kayaking immediately informed me that we would not be enjoying that particular personality trait today, but perhaps that’s part of why I remember it so fondly. I didn’t need to be good at it. I’d got into the sea. That was enough. For someone frightened of open water, simply being there felt like a little win.
And then they made me fall out
Towards the end of the lesson we were told we needed to practice getting back into the kayak after falling into the water. I’m sorry. What? Apparently, if you ever intend kayaking independently, knowing how to rescue yourself is considered useful.
Fair enough.
My two more seaworthy companions went first while I briefly considered whether throwing a childlike tantrum might constitute an acceptable safety exemption. Apparently not. So I slipped into the North Sea and almost immediately scrambled back onto the kayak. In my imagination this was executed with the precision of a Navy SEAL, although I suspect any available video footage might tell a slightly different story. But I did it.
And then it was over.
And I loved it. Being out there on the water gave me time to just “be”. I smiled a lot that day thinking of what Martin would think of me being out on the open water. I think he’d have been suitably impressed with my effort. The last time we were in the sea together I made him swim on the deepest side as he was absolutely convinced that punching a shark on the nose would do the trick and we would be safe. Excellent. Completely reassuring.
There was also the holiday when I got caught in waves trying to come ashore, was repeatedly turned upside down and eventually emerged with my bikini in considerable disarray. Martin stood on the beach absolutely crying with laughter.
Those were the memories that came back while I paddled around Cullercoats Bay.
Not overwhelmingly sad memories but funny ones, warm ones. The sort that make you smile without expecting to.
Would I kayak again?
We booked another lesson almost immediately, so yes, absolutely.
And looking back, I think there’s a bigger reason I loved that morning. Trying something new has this wonderful ability to make life feel bigger and you don’t need to climb Everest or throw yourself out of an airplane (which I eventually go on to do!).
Sometimes it’s enough to do one thing you’ve been telling yourself isn’t really you.
I was frightened of open water, I went kayaking anyway. I wasn’t particularly graceful and I didn’t suddenly become fearless, but I came home thinking:
I’d do that again.
And that’s a pretty good outcome from a Sunday morning.
Kayaking at Cullercoats in 2026
I originally booked with CBK Adventures in Cullercoats and they’re still operating today.
They now offer beginner kayak and paddleboarding lessons as well as guided coastal trips, coasteering and other sea-based experiences. Equipment such as wetsuits and safety gear is provided for many sessions.
Cullercoats itself is particularly suited to watersports because of its sheltered bay, sitting between Tynemouth and Whitley Bay and if you’re wondering whether kayaking has to be some ultra-serious expedition, CBK currently even runs experiences combining a morning paddle with breakfast on the beach (runs May to October). Now that sounds more like my level of adventure.
My lesson was independently paid for. This article is based entirely on my own experience.
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